20 June 2010

I Wish To Get It Back

What does a best friend for? To make your life goes better? To stay beside you whenever you need him/her? To lend money whenever you are lack in it? To get scolded whenever you are down? To cheer you up whenever you get defeated? To play with whenever you feel bored? Everyone has their own definition for the words "best friend", so what is yours?

For me, a best friend is a person that doesn't have to be with me all the time. We don't have to meet up every second. Meeting up with him/her once in a while is more than enough for me. We don't have to talk all day long, or call each other once a day. But at least he/she can be there for me when I need them.

What if we have not been meeting up each other for ages? Is that what we called a best friend? Is that what we called sisters? Is that what we meant keep in touch?

I have no idea.

Seriously, I feel deeply sad of it. I don't know why she just refused to join all the activities of CHSJ once she left CH. She said she wasn't close to them, and she said it must be weird if she joins. But I wonder why she joined the elder seniors, which she did not actually know them. Was that all just because of her boyfriend, HHH? Was she lying? What does a sister mean to her? I need someone to tell me the answers, and the truths. It's been at least a year we did not meet up each other, or give each other a phone call. We have totally lost contact. I have got her phone number from HHH a few weeks ago, but I did not dare to give her a call. I felt so weird. It's like we're not sisters or even friends anymore.

If you are closed to me, you might know who I am talking about through all the information above. She has been a best friend of mine, and we used to call each other as sisters. She had been hurting me in the past, and I know I had been doing the same thing to her as well. We argued, but we became reconciled after all. When she did not know how to sing a song that she had to sing during the singing exam, she telephoned me and she asked me to teach her on the phone. When there were holidays or duties, I went to sleep over in her house. I forced her to block her dog from coming near to me before I entered her house. I taught her the transport methods in her brother's room before we headed off for the exam. Gosh! I miss those times we had been through together.

Nien Tzin, where are you?

I wish to get it back.

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