26 September 2010

I am who I am.

It's time to take a rest after facing the notes for more than 5 hours. Wth! I have so much more to go, and I think I wouldn't be able to finish them all before the examinations.

Clasp Buddha's feet when in dire need, but refuse to burn incense when all is well; this proverb says it all.

I used to start the preparation on the day before the examination, when I was still in CH. Any promises to me myself were all rubbishes; they would never be remembered nor executed. That's the Jiamin who never thought how important the studies could be, and the regrets would never be concerned. When SPM was just around the corner, I started to sink, until I left CH after three months of being in 6 S Ren.

Stresses scared me off, perhaps?

Life turns even easier and better ever since I started my college life. Admittedly, I love college life even more even though many of them say memories in secondary school are the most appreciative ones. There're these helpful friends, the nice lecturers (even though I always complain but they're really nice), the subjects, and et cetera. Life can be somehow busy; nonetheless, it could be fun if you enjoy the process.

Well, I have no idea why I couldn't enjoy at that time, when the SPM was around.

This is my very first time being so hard-working – started preparing for the examinations a few days before them.


For example, even if I'm bored, my mood can still be easily lightened after seeing the name of my hometown, Mentakab, on this common map. :) There's obviously some typing error, but it simply makes me smile. My hometown is actually just a small city in Pahang, and it is definitely not popular among the Malaysians.


When I'm feeling tired, taking a nap cannot work well on me, because I would always want to sleep more after half an hour. I can be pretty energetic by just drinking a pack of Milo; it can never waste my time of studying.

They're indeed too easy to be done. Seriously, they start working well ever since I start my college life. How naughty!



Apart from those, I started to figure out how I am supposed to make a right decision, for example, whether to break the friendship or just leave the problem aside. Friendship is always so important to me, which I would never want to destroy it by just a tiny problem. Nevertheless, the feeling of being betrayed or being taken advantage of never make me comfortable. I was so wanted to tell him or her directly, how evil he or she was.

On the other hand, by pretending to be nice to him or her, it always brings advantages to me. It sounds bad, but this is exactly what he or she deserves. He or she was the one who started to be in that way, so why not I just chime in with him or her to make my life easier. Frankly, it's my first time being such an evil person, and I swear he or she is the only one who is treated by me like that in this entire world.

I'm changing to be as perfect as I can, permanently. It is a way to gain more friendships and not to forget, more different experiences indirectly. I have this habit of discovering how nice or how evil our world could be, to be frank. :P

Instead of saying that I'm talking nonsense, I personally consider me myself as giving me a chance to discover more about me. In fact, I don't really know how, what, who I am. Yes, blogging is my way of discovering all the questioning.

How about you?


Wtf! I have no idea how it happened. D:



  1. well.. blogging for me is about sharing thoughts and experiences =)

  2. Human relationship is very complicated and fragile isn't it?

  3. ken: Yay, that's one of the more reasons of blogging, to me.

    Kelvin: Yes, that's why. D:


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