I'm joining Sea Scout.

"To go or not to go?"

That was one of my statuses on Facebook when I was thinking whether to attend the gathering or not. There's originally nothing related to me, but ended up I have to do something for them, plus I've decided something. For your information, they're all scouts, either legal or illegal; I was the only one who joined St. John back in high school. I was invited by the boyfriend to attend together. The transportation problem annoyed me again, though. Fortunately, I could still manage to arrive home safely.

"I have a thought, but what if they think I'm a betrayer, which I never mean to be?"

"What if I join them instead of you all?"

Those were my following statuses right after the very first one that I said just now. Sooner or later, I might be officially became one of the St. John members of Sentul Adult Division; it might as well not going to happen until I'm informed for the reporting; also, it might not be happening forever and ever.  Wtf! It's been a very long time ever since I started applying for the promotion of me myself to that adult division. After a few months of waiting, I've finally got the answer that I wanted. I thought that's the end of the procedure, yet, I was wrong. I telephoned to ask Afengz about it, and I was told to wait until he informs me about their meeting. Till now, I get nothing still. It's either he has forgotten, or I'm still in the waiting list. Wtf! Well, I will just wait until they inform me, and I will never urge them to make it for me.

Now that I'm a soon-to-be abandoned people from the world of St. John, I thought of joining scout. I dared not to tell anyone because I myself know very clearly that I'm not trying to leave, to abandon, or to betray the one that I have been so used to be with for approximately 5 years, Chong Hwa St. John. Nevertheless, not everyone can totally understand, I'm afraid. Would you believe me, if I swear that CHSJ is still located at the very best place deep in my heart? Would you think I'm a betrayer? Would you think I'm treacherous to leave you just like that? What if I say I'm not joining St. John anymore? Would you hate me? Would you forget me? Such problems and the questions they might ask make me stressed.

Still, I sent a text message, telling Louis from a land scout group that the badman and I have decided to join the Sea Scout. Yes, we're not joining land scout; instead, we join Sea Scout, the one that they strongly suggested. They're as well recruiting for more new members. Um, I'm not really sure about their information but something makes me believe him so yea, I might be signing the registration form tomorrow in the evening. :)

I somehow feel as if I can communicate much better with the scouts instead of the St. John members, to be frank. Like yesterday, when we're gathering at a corner, we chitchatted a lot that consisted gazillions of nonsense. The fun, the jokes, and all could indeed manage to make me forget everything that was annoying me in the meantime. I held my peace for most of the time, but, I admit that I'm still feeling happy and warm to be with them, the friends of the badman. It always happens, and I always feel that whenever we're all together. On the other hand, I used to be so stressed whenever I sit together with the people of CHSJ, as if I'm sitting together with a bunch of people that I don't really know.

If you think I'm betraying, I'm here to apologize. Well, I hope you support me, of course, instead of putting the blame on me for joining other group. ;) I have my right to choose what I want, right? Good luck to me for joining Sea Scout then. :D

x.