21 October 2010

It's not that I can live without him.

"Isn't it good to have your boyfriend studying at the same college together with you?" Farah questioned me that day.

To me, it is definitely an awesomeness that you can get to meet him every single day. How I wish my Badman could study in Taylor's University, the place where I'm studying, as I have been so looking forward to hang around at the lakeside together with him ever since my course started. I would really love to sit by the lakeside and chitchat with the Badman. Unfortunately, there's no such course called Diploma in Automotive Technology (DAT), which is the course he is now taking at The Otomotif College (TOC), in this campus. Even if it exists, it wouldn't be as professional as what TOC offers I guess.

By the way, those are no longer my answers after clarifying all the related things and stuffs.

Right now, I somehow prefer being in this kind of situation instead; he studies in TOC and I study at Taylor's University, and we meet only once a week. It trains me to be more independent instead of relying on him all the time as if it seemed like three years to me if for one day I don't meet him. Wtf! No, no, it's never a good thing to place total reliance on whomever else because when something happens unexpectedly, you might as well get into trouble. I never knew until I experience it all by me myself.

For your information, the Jiamin back in high school was a person who couldn't be able to survive without the Badman around. We met every single day, as long as it's weekday and it's not a public holiday. Whenever it came to holidays, such as Novembers and Decembers, I would be in trouble of missing him madly. I promised to change, yet, I never. Hence, on that day when he told me he's leaving CH, I stunned. I blamed him for breaking his promise of staying in CH until we graduate. I cried every day, especially at night. At the time when I started to get used to it, it's time to leave CH for another new life.

Nonetheless, the I-cannot-live-without-you kind of life happened repeatedly until we started our courses at two different periods. The frequency of us meeting each other started getting lesser and lesser; I was so worried if it affected our relationship, to be frank. We had a lot of arguments for several weeks or months due to my bickering until this heart-to-heart conversation that led us to a common understanding. :)

The training wasn't enjoyable at all; it was indeed too damn suffering. Good thing is I've got over everything. *winks*

Honestly, I somehow wonder how he actually bears all that I have done to him for all this while, especially when I make trouble out of nothing. When it is suppose to be my fault, it would in the end, turn out become his fault. He would be the one who apologizes without me realizing that it is me who does the mistake. It's as if I am the queen whereas he is my servant pffft. If we're to exchange our characteristics, he would definitely drive me crazy just within one day. People used to say it is necessary for a guy to sooth his girl but, truthfully, I somehow feel guilty to put the blame on him unreasonably. Who never rebels against what they originally think? I put my hands down because I never.

I'm no longer being as immature as I was in the past, I admit. And yes, the Badman is one of the many people who lead me to the right path.

Approximately two weeks of not meeting the Badman exactly makes me miss him more, and there's still one more week to go perhaps, but I believe that I can do it pretty well no matter how. I believe. ;D



  1. I totally agree with you.I'm in a LDR with my boyfriend too.Though LDR sucks sometimes,it makes us grow in so many ways.=)

    All the best to you and your bf!=))

  2. Yes! ;D Thanks, and same to you! :DDD


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