Fear of the car crash I just had.

Yesterday night has been the longest night I have ever had in my life I presume, with me waking up with intense fear of the car accident that I had just gone through at around 9.20pm right in front of the bus stop of Sunway Pyramid. The entire case is so uncontrollably unforgettable that the scenes of me shouting during the car crash and how my entire body shivered throughout the few hours being at the scene together with the Badman's brothers and an uncle who has been helping them out for years just wouldn't stop replaying in my mind since the accident happened. It's just like a dream to me whenever I recall about it at anytime, which I truly hope it was just a dream until I see the Badman's face filled with guiltiness staring at nowhere for long. We're ultimately fortunate that it was just an old Proton Saga owned by a kind Malay guy instead of a public bus to be having an accident at an area where public transportations are pretty busy at the moment especially buses, otherwise it wouldn't be just our car that was damaged; our lives would have been harmed as well.

My sense of intellect explained why I immediately took the Badman's mobile phone and called his brother, Keith, at the first place to inform him what situation we're both at, with my shivering voice and cold body while Keith sounded so freaking relax as if there's nothing happened. Before I switched off the engine and left the car, I thought our Hyundai Elantra only experienced damage on the bonnet and perhaps the bumper but guess what, I realized it was a huge damage instead when I finally saw that myself. Apart from the bonnet, the damages included the bumper, the radiator, the headlights, the car plate, something like a metal bar which can be hardly repaired according to the Badman, and some little things that he could then hardly turn the steering wheel a few minutes after the car crash. Surprisingly, the old Proton Saga only experienced tiny little damage on the bumper and that was the first and the only time when I finally exclaimed "Malaysia Boleh!" secretly deep inside my heart wtf. Anyway, I am still praying hard that the engine of our car didn't have any damages, which the Badman claimed it is most probably still staying safe. Busybodies including the foreign students I supposed, who were standing at the bus stop waiting for buses just wouldn't stop walking forward to take a look for God's sake while gazing around looking for the owner of the car, not to mention the taxi drivers who stopped by to wait for passengers. The owner of the Proton Saga then left to the nearest police station located in USJ to make report regarding the car accident, without me realizing it at all to be honest.

After all the callings, a tractor has finally arrived at around 12am when Keith left with his girlfriend to somewhere else to get us some drinks by the eldest brother's car. The Badman and I then left with the uncle mentioned above to the said police station to make a report, leaving his eldest brother who was waiting for his car to come back, all alone at the scene. Thanks to the uncle who knows many of the police officers pretty well as he's been helping out on their police cars for quite some time, everything was finally settled except for the damaged Hyundai Elantra that has been sent to their workshop to be repaired. I didn't talk at all throughout the few minutes being in the police station while Keith could still joke around and laugh as loud as he could with his girlfriend since the moment he arrived at the scene. I have never been talking to Keith at all throughout the years being with the Badman as I wasn't exposed to any of his family members yet before the car accident, except for some of his cousins, until yesterday when I was sitting alone waiting for the Badman who was still in the office being questioned by a police officer with higher ranking. The conversation went as follows right after Keith tapped me on the shoulder from behind and I turned round to look at him:

"Errr, what is your name ah?" he said.
"Jia Min."
"Oh. Were you afraid just now?" I guess that was a ridiculous question.
"Heheheee." I was laughing but deep down inside, I was crying for the pain I was suffering.
"......." I continued staring at nowhere thinking about something else while he was left speechless as I wasn't in the mood to talk at all, which I sincerely hope I could apologize to him at anytime. :(

When I say things have finally been settled in the police station itself, I mean his driving license didn't have to be revoked after all, and he didn't have to be issued any summons at the end either due to some reason that you may not know or you may perhaps guess it yourself. Keith then fetched us all the way back to my house to just drop me initially, but the Badman then requested to spend the night at my house so that he could accompany the terrified me and I could as well accompany the depressed him in the meantime. No it definitely wasn't a good night at all despite all the cuddling, kissing, and the heart-to-heart conversations we had had throughout the night being in my room just to try to calm each other down to bits. Right now I could still recall clearly how tight he hugged me once we got into the room, with guiltiness all over him at the same time; he's been apologizing to me again and again for not driving well, letting me experiencing two car crashes that the one happened last night was literally the most serious among both. In fact, I wasn't blaming him at all because not to say I'm trying to get any excuses, every new driver has to experience all these before he becomes a good driver indeed, even though those are not the best things one should go through. I know how much he's so disappointed of himself after the accident that scared the hell out of me that night.

I reckon that was the first time ever in my life I experienced such scary car accident to be seeing me myself being in a car that was accelerating towards another car in front instead of slowing down, shouting when the car crashed, yelling at the Badman asking what he was doing when I admit I have lost control at the few seconds; not to say the scariest of all that I have ever seen but I was seriously, completely freaked out, or you might just say I was terrified. The shivering until I wasn't even in the mood to drink something or even to pee was indeed unexplainable. I actually told the Badman to let me stay inside the damaged car with the engine off instead of not being able to stand well outside, and it was when I started crying. Funnily, I knocked my baby little nose by the door as I went into the car wtf.

Because of the car accident and how my condition was, I decided to cancel my date with Farah so that I could take my time resting at home while soothing the Badman who is still in his depressed mood. Truth to be told, my heart aches every time when I see him staring at nowhere with something going on in his mind, and that I know he's still worried about something that is going to happen sooner or later, it just depends. By the time when he left my house, he promised to share with me every single thing that happens later, no matter what it is all about, to simply hope I could help to make him feel better to bits. I might sound as if I'm fine but hell no; I would still jump at times when I dream about the scene again just like how I was while taking my nap with the Badman. My fear was the reason why I didn't drive today.

The entire thing happened dramatically I would say. I hope I could be fine pretty soon, and hopefully things are not going to be any more complicated.

I feel like crying right now. :'(

x.