26 April 2012

There is no maximum in a relationship.

Good evening ladies and gentlemen! Can you guess where was this photo taken at? The answer shall be revealed on the next post followed by more updates about the trip I had just participated in a few weeks ago. Until then, this post would be slightly more wordy than usual for my sudden inspiration regarding relationship issues based on my personal experiences. My experiences, however, shall not be compared to your second, third, or fourth relationship, though, for reason that we human beings experience things in our own respective ways.

Most of the people who know me personally or perhaps through the worldwide web should have known that my current relationship with the Badman, which has been more than 4 years and still counting, is truly my first love. Ridiculously, as we started off our journey, as much as I loved to aim at the moon, I was immediately struck by the thought of the pain during a breakup. Being still fresh to this "industry", I swear I was scared to death by seeing how people acted after a breakup. It was not until the Badman taught me to gain more self-confidence, as well as all sorts of loves stories and love quotes that I finally stopped being the stupid little girl of the past.

Recently, however, I'm not sure if it was the usual pre-menstrual syndrome (PMS) that hit me temporarily, I have been constantly feeling slightly miserable, if not more, from time to time due to insecurity. My mood changed in a way that sometimes I couldn't stand him being unintentionally secretive, or I would think otherwise. It felt as though time has travelled back to when we first started, when I tended to misunderstand him unreasonably very often. I thought to myself, perhaps it's the long running relationship itself that made me insecure, which is similar to the reason why most couples break up after 4 years of relationships.

Yet again, the fear took the advantage to hit me at this very moment. My level of confidence decreased. I have repeatedly asked him for the reason that makes him so deeply in love with me when there are hundreds or thousands of more attractive girls out there who may be better than me in any aspects. His answer has always been the same; he got mad at me, he stared at me, and he lectured me to not put up with any more of my nonsense. Over the years of being my partner, he has been trying his very best to ensure my healthiness and being slightly overprotective at anywhere, anytime. Thus, whenever he focused on his online game for a minute or two, I simply took him as an ignorer. It's definitely irrational I would say, yet with insecurities attacked, I couldn't help but to lecture him in an unreasonable way.

Last night, I talked out my anxieties including the way I thought, and how we don't talk as much as we did because of the advanced technologies nowadays. Shocked, he said he already has an idea in his mind about what to do in the near future. To be fair, we both will certainly try our best to work things out. With a simple yet deep heart-to-heart conversation, I'm really happy that our problems have solved without the necessity of arguing. With that, it's as if we are getting a few steps closer again. That's love. Once again, another life lesson is learnt from within. True; people may get bored as things get dragged on for overly long, it never means relationships work similarly. Instead, relationships don't depend on its age but it's the way a person handles problems that matters the most.

Truth to be told, I have friends who have celebrated their sixth anniversary, and are still sweet together despite the breakups they had been through a few years back merely due to childishness. One's maturity counts, too. Handling a relationship is almost as similar as handling a real friendship; you want it, and you can't afford losing the person you love. It's just the feeling that differs. Other than that, it depends on how a person takes a relationship as.

My fear is gone. My confidence is regained. That's yet another huge step forward towards our future. :D 


1 comment:

  1. don't think too much and keep doing what you have been doing these years, you will somehow feel the love from him. Love is masterpiece, not for a single person, but not more than 3 though. You two have been through difficult stages and situations, and still remained loving each other. Look ahead, you will see the breeze of "meant for each other". Love you Min, anything anytime can talk to me.


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